Message in a blog

My conversation with a subject:

Me: Could you tell me about the turning points in your life? (in a flirtatious tone cos he has quite a reputation as a lady lover;)

He: Why don't you come down and we can chat.

Me: Geographically not possible. I am in Delhi. (He is in Bombay)

He: Doesn't matter. You can come down with that Little Terrorist guy. (He meant Ashvin Kumar)

Me: Giggle giggle

He: At the age of 14, I got kissed. That was my first turning point. It happened to be a big disappointment. Because the girl who kissed me was a 16-year-old and was a first time kisser too. There was no music. No violins playing. After that I never kissed till I was much older.

I had to keep on laughing till my jaws ached while he guffawed at his own stories. (Painful)

He: Next when I was 16 years old, I was seduced by an older woman of 24 years. She told me she would teach me to please women, for what is most important to a woman is taken for granted by a man. For the next 9 months I was tutored in the art. One day she warned me not to fall in love with her because then I would be history. But of course I did fall in love with her. And even though she did not drop me like a hot potato she did disengage herself gradually. I have never looked back since.

Me: What about something in your career?

He: My whole life I have spent courting, chasing and pleasing a plethora of high achieving women. That's my career.

Me: (Gnashing teeth and laughing at the same time) No, I mean what about when you opened your first restaurant?

In that restaurant of his he had a fixed item that never changed. What was that? A board with the words: 'The management reserves the rights to kiss all pretty girls on the premises'.

I was dying to get off the hook. He wanted to go on. "Don't you want to know more about my life?" "Err...actually next time I can call you for more on your life. Bye..."

He: But you must seduce a 16-year-old. Catch them young between 15 and 21. You will be doing a service to other women out there.

Me: Sure the message will be passed on.


Essar said...

Oh my god you have an interesting time interviewing characters like these! So who is this?

eM said...

How does one gnash ones teeth and laugh at the same time? Isn't that rather physically impossible? :)

Parna said...

gaaah! what a jerk! curious to know his name (which am sure you shall not divulge) :)

Penny Lane said...

There was no music. No violins playing.

Obviously believed in movies too much!

Rat said...

'The management reserves the rights to kiss all pretty girls on the premises'.

He ACTUALLY has that ???

AB said...

Essar: Interesting yes. But very tiring as well.

eM: Talk to him and you will know what I mean hun.

Parna: Yep you are right, can't do that:) Though you can guess. He is an ad man.

Penny Lane: Totally. In fact he mentioned that all these movies pull a con on you.

Rat: He actually had that. It closed three years after 1985 when he opened it.

Mint Chutney said...

I would be very grateful that I was interviewing him via phone because I don't have a good poker face and he probably would have been annoyed with the amount of eye-rolling I did during the interview.

garfy said...

OMG! I kept rotflmao all thru... Who is this guy? How could you actually not have collapsed laffing and goin "yeah rite"?
I echo Mintie...

PS: Love yer job! :P

Anonymous said...

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couchpotato said...

Hee hee
Nuggets of wisdom from a veteran, eh? ;)

AB said...

mint: You bet I was rolling my eyes. It was the worst ragging I have been through. Swear.

garfy:The guess work sud be easy. He's the craziest ad guy around.

anon: Thanks. I will do that. And ya do keep popping in:)

couchpotato: U bet;)

Jay said...


I especially like the 'Giggle giggle' bit. Looks like girls don't just fake it in the bedroom :-p

BTW, was this interview for one of your articles? Won't you get in trouble for posting it on your blog before it gets published?

samit said...

who this? PK?
it should make a nice article, though

AB said...

Jay: Yeah this was for one of my stories. But I guess it's ok. Besides the story would be edited:)

Samit: The editor was scandalised. As I thought he would be. You are spot on. But probably eM told you. Heh?

samit said...

nah, eM didnt tell me. i just have an eye for these things :)

The Marauder's Map said...

Ha ha I guessed too. Without being told by either eM or Samit. Can't wait to see the story after the editor has been through it.

By the way, that anon you're thanking so sweetly is probably some virus. Or hacker. Or whatever - one of those spoilsports on the Internet. Noticed almsot exact type comments on some other blogs too. Think they are automatically generated. Call me conspiracy theorist, but am sure it's something dire and sinister.

AB said...

samit: ok I believe you:)

marauder: Actually I too noticed something similar on some blog. So now there will be hackers and viruses here too it seems. Sigh.

thalassa_mikra said...

Even a lay non-media type like me could guess who this is! By the way, I did a little google search on him, and he claims in an interview to The Hindu that he's a celebrity chef in Greece. WTF??? My boyfriend's Greek, and I've been to the country several times. No one's ever heard of this guy.

It's the same with that Anaida chick. She claims to be half-Greek and able to speak the language and claims that her album was a huge success in Greece. Of course no one's heard of her either. And the one song that she sings in Greek - atrocious! Makes my Greek sound refined.

AB said...

Uh oh hence the greek name. I mean yours:)

But he's crazy. I can imagine him doing that.

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