20.6.05

Why can't Bengali men be like Brad Pitt?

.... So mused my friend P after a two-and-half-an-hour dose of Mr & Mrs Smith. I was, well, prone to agree with her, only there was one problem. Mr Pitt happens to have a reputation for being the smelliest stud. See... there's always a hitch to every guy. Damn.

The film itself was pretty hard-earned. Literally so. We had to stand at the PVR counter at Saket maintaining a hawk-like stance while from in front of our very noses the guys at the counter were passing on tickets to some guys who were busy blacking the same. One of the latter even approached me and asked in a whisper, "Which show tickets are you looking for?" I said: "7.15 pm" He said: "150 for 200." I put on my best bargaining behaviour. It didn't work.

I was at the receiving end of a smirk followed by the words: "Maddam
yaha 190 nahi ho raha hai aur aap 170 ki bol rahe ho?" (Here I am not
even going down to Rs 190 and you are talking of Rs 170) So I moved in a huff back to the counter determined this time to create trouble if I didn't get two tickets. I am glad I got them then. Cause I was in a mutinous mood, basically in a mood to call up Ajay Bijli right then and letting him know how pathetic everything was. (Well I did message him and express extreme indignation. And he did call back and ask for details. However I refrained from mentioning my identity. The best part was he didn't even ask.)

Inside the hall, we had to move seats because we happened to have
plonked ourselves in the wrong seats. There was a guy sitting beside P who was really weird. I asked him to shift and he refused flatly saying, "This is my final seat. Your seat must be elsewhere." And he wouldn't budge. How tempted was I to drop my bag on him (it seemed to weigh tons. It had my Vikram Seth). Finally he must have heard me mouthing loudly to P: "Is this guy retarded?" He moved.

The result was I had him sitting next to me and almost leaning on to my seat. So I got a crick in the neck while leaning towards P. Then in the middle of the movie, he suddenly said to himself, "Mr & Mrs Smith". I swear he wasn't on the phone. After the interval he returned with popcorn and started stuffing it into his mouth like muri (puffed rice). You can forgive me for begging her to exchange seats with me. She wouldn't.

In the midst of all this I got some messages from an ex colleague which pissed me off thoroughly. He made it a point to advise me to drink, but not to drink like a fish. Because apparently someone he met at a party claimed to have dropped me home "in an inebriated state" besides claiming "several other things". Hmph...Why do guys lie so badly? Obviously the latter is lying and to top it all I get this sneaking suspicion that my ex colleague's not exactly the benevolent saint he's portraying himself to be. He refuses to let out the name of the guy.

Among other things I bought six books from a Saket roadside. I have to stop buying books. Seriously. I think I have a pile of some 20-odd books waiting to be read. Meanwhile my Vikram Seth continues to be a marathon read.

103 comments:

Mangs said...

Hi you! Just been catching up on your blog... please stop lugging suitable boy around!! what's wrong with you!? i could barely hold it sitting down! PS: (and this is what i really wanted to say) i read it when it first came out, 91? 92? and i wrote a silly childish letter to vikram seth and he wrote back! it was most exciting. all on aerogramme! and one character has my name - which has to be a first!

PS said...

you bought 6 freakin' books!!!! Way to go!!! ;)
How I wish I could do something like that? But never mind, I'll do it too. So what did you get? Do let me know the titles and how they were, okay.....

Jay said...

Am I the only one who doesn't think Brad Pitt is that attractive?!

And don't listen to Mangs - I'm sure lugging that book everywhere has given you a lot of exercise. You must have killer bicepts now!

imhunt said...

6 books not bad, which ones if you could tell.

eM said...

I don't think Brad Pitt is particularly attractive either. Yes, and please stop carrying the book around, I mean, you're even taking it to the movies and to parties! You should have a discussion about your relationship now :)

motheater said...

yay yay discussion on relationship please :-) out of the closet now AB

AB said...

mangs: Where have you been? I know I know I will have to stop lugging it around. It's just that I want to finish it off now. And yes you are the one Dipankar Chatterjee flirts with:)

Jay: ;)

PS and imhunt: Agatha Christies and yes (hides) Barbara Cartlands (haven't read these for a long time)

eM & motheater: No let it remain in the closet. Come to think of it, are we talking of the same thing that I think we are talking about (raised eyebrows)

cactusjump said...

question: how did u manage to get ur bag into pvr?? they wudn't let mine in and all it had was a slim edition of alice in wonderland, no heavy suitable boys!

AB said...

cactus: Hmmm... You were carrying alice??? Maybe the answer lies there and maybe suitable boy is more apealing;) (ok ok pj I know)

Essar said...

O hey, I too was wondering why Bong men weren't more attractive. Sheesh, some of the men my sis has had proposals from are positively reptilian. Solution: Have an affair with a mosi guy till your parents relent saying that anyone will do!

AB said...

shithappens: Oh no now there be accusations of casteism on my blog. But my folks would actually go out of their mind:)

Anonymous said...

Bengali men ARE like Brad Pitt! only you need x-ray eyes to see through their bhaat-maach eating pot belly and dada-habits.

and Brad has a rep of being smelly? elaborate please.

Parna

lemongrass.blogdrive.com

The Marauder's Map said...

Caramel, you naughty, smart girl! Do you really go about abusing your exalted celebrity journalist status like this, by complaining to head honchos about the inferior quality of service they provide? Am so tempted to try same myself. Am thinking of calling Sunil Mittal and complaining about Airtel's fuck-all network in Bangalore or telling M S Aiyar about the gas connection racket they run here.

ToeKnee said...

I know - it's irritating how even a Rs 150 ticket can't ensure that you get a trouble-free movie watching experience. One would have thought people who frequent PVRs would be better behaved.

AB said...

Parna: Didn't you read about the top 5 smelliest men in Hollywood? It came out in Times of India. Well, Pitt took the cake.

marauder: Try it out. It works. And why shouldn't we. The other people who were complaining about the same thing didn't have the access. I did. And I used it.

AB said...

Toeknee: Getting hold of that Rs 150 ticket itself is a big feat buddy.

Surinder said...

looks like the things going arnd were a lot more intersting .. cos i think the movie is really not worth the 150 bucks spent !!! ..

AB said...

surinder: Yeah a lot of people told me that. But I didn't mind it. Though the last part was a bit ridiculous.

PS said...

listen, tell me something, what city does saltwater blues live in?

AB said...

No idea. Why don't you ask him?

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Winning the Game

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Bingo halls demand an age limit of 18 years old. If you are below this age, you are prohibited to play. Some bingo houses ban alcohol inside, so players aren't supposed to take liquor nor drink it inside the venue. Smoking may also be restricted inside the venue, as there are designated smoking sections.

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