14.6.05

Truly skin-deep

I met this Punjabi babe the other day. A tall, well-built gal with blue blue eyes (read contact lenses).

This is how I came across her. I had reached a concert where Indian Idol Abhijeet Sawant would be performing. I was supposed to meet him
backstage for an interview. The only thing was I couldn't get anywhere inside. The PR girl I had talked to was nowhere in sight. Finally in desperation I caught hold of someone who did look a PR person and said, "Please get me backstage to Sonia." As it turned out I was asking Sonia for Sonia. My sigh of relief could not have been more pronounced. Jostling for space out there among muscle-flexing guys and auntyjis with their little kids, I was quite out of depth.

I tripped in to the air-conditioned backstage feeling like a queen after the sauna-like experience in the open air. I saw this huge white enclosure with cubicles lined on both sides with names on them. All the Sony actors and actresses were rehearsing. I happened to look in at one of those cubicles where this actor Sasha was doing a mock dance. Ok so I have eyes. Which fell on Sasha's cubicle. He banged the door in my face. "Do an about turn A," I muttered to myself and went into the cubicle marked out for Abhijeet and the Indian Idol finalists. Only to see Abhijeet rushing out to the stage. I looked at the other people in the room - rather the only other occupant - a girl with blue eyes sitting on the other side of the room. The Punjabi babe.

She smiled. I smiled.

Me: Are you the choreographer?

She: No, I am Sudhir's girfriend. (I drew a complete blank. Was I
supposed to know who he was?)
My musings were over in a minute. Entrez Sudhir. In a flashy purple shirt showing a lot of pale skin, a huge golden cross and a really bald head looking at me through mousy eyes. And almost immediately started doing little jerky steps. I averted my eyes bashfully for some time. I don't know why. He was an anonymous dancer for the evening.

She: So you are reading a novel. Which one (I held up my book. Vikram
Seth-A Suitable Boy. I really have to stop carrying it around. The last time it was mishandled by a French hottie). Now it's good to read to increase your knowledge and all that but I can't go beyond two-three pages of a novel.

Me: Oh so you are not a big reader

She: I read Archies

Here there was a lull in our conversation. After which Sudhir disappeared and our lady came and joined me on my sofa. She introduced herself as Anisha. I ventured forth to ask her about her profession.

She: I am in Class IX in Presentation.

My eyes popped out. Me thought she so looked a 26-yr-old.

She: Ya I know some people ask me if I have failed ever. But I am very good in studies.

Me: Ok, but why would you need to do presentations in Class IX?

She: It's a convent. Presentation Convent. Very well known.

Me: I am really sorry. I don't know much about Delhi schools.

Next my questions veered to what she wanted to do with her life. "I want to go into the glamour line," she said. Modelling, acting,... what? "My mother was a model who left the industry because of you-know-what, so I will not go into all that. I will be an international air hostess," she informed me. She also had me know that she can sing, dance and act well. To which I wondered aloud why she wasn't out there on stage. "Well, Sudhir already has a dancing partner - Jyoti." I looked at her and said, "You don't need a Sudhir to be performing!"

15 minutes with her and my head was buzzing. Anyways next I made a comment.

You are a Punjabi?

She: How do you know?

Me: It's pretty obvious. (Quickly) I mean you look like one. Take it as a compliment.

She (flicking her hair three times in a row): Ya I know Punjabis have
fair skins. But I like dusky skin (turning towards me). I like your
skin. You know it has an allure about it.

The conversation ended there. God stepped in, in the form of the Indian Idol finalists trooping in after a performance.

38 comments:

motheater said...

hahahahaha. wait till i post your pic, your punjabi babe's eyes will pop out :-)

eM said...

I've never HEARD of this vague school. And you will now be stored on my phone as Dusky Allure. (It sounds like a code name for a porn star or something, doesn't it?)

Anonymous said...

hahaha..what a bummer.

Parna

lemongrass.blogdrive.com

definitelymale said...

so u carry around vikram seth novel with u to show people how intellectual u r..while u go around doing ur job which adds no value to society..

Jay said...

A Suitable Boy - I've seen that book - it's like the size of a telephone book! What on earth do you use to lug it around with?

AB said...

motheater: Thanks for the offer. Undying gratitude coming your way.

eM: I wouldn't love you for that;)

Parna: Yeah yeah she was one of a kind

definitelymale: What great job do you do? Specify.

And do you know something. I just read your blog. I think you wear khaki shorts and attend RSS meets every morning. You are not the only one who can be rude.

Jay: It is. Which is why I carry it around cos it seems forever to finish. Not that I mind it.

steppenwolf said...

What is wrong in wearing khaki chaddis, and attending RSS meets every morning ? Don't forget that we chaddiwalas were in power not too long ago, and you folks from the fourth estate used to suck up to us like there is no tomorrow. If you go out and sample the views of the common man, you will realize that we still command a lot of respect. We have a lot of sympathizers in the new generation, who might not support us openly but think a lot like us. The typical closet-chaddiwala is a 20-40 yr old male, in either technology or business related careers,watches a lot of TV, doesn't read much, discusses politics and sociology with like minded people and harbours very extreme views about hinduism and society. Wait for a couple more years and this new breed of chaddiwalas will take India by storm.

imhunt said...

"Sanjay Yeh Kya Ho Raha Hai" (blink blink)
Both steppenwolf and definitelymale which Sangh are you part of. If you think all the guys, especially the guys who make any policy decision, are stupid ignoramus llike you'll then please go for you Shanivaar meetings and get a refresher course.
Hey AB sorry for the tirade in your comments section, but what these guys say is not what the Sangh preaches.

Anyway the girls goes to Presentation Convent. A rather odd name for a school. From what I read I was taken in by her innocence. No pretentions.

Oye Bajaj (definitely male) and Hesse Ki aulaad sun le

sesame said...

steppenwolf: just chked out yr site,man. Awesome!!! Tho' Drew Curtis seems a strange name for a desi(unless u r an Anglo). And wht's with the pics of all the hot chicks strewn around yr site??? I thot yr chaddis were already in a twist:-)

AB said...

steppenwolf: I think I'll go nuts if I continue with this. Do you even know what I was talking about?

imhunt: Welcome. Our babe was a woman of many parts as you can make out;)

sesame: LOL

imhunt said...

Smart. Puns all over the place aren't they. And I'm not in a mood to write my articles as yet. What to do? What to do?

AB said...

imhunt: Didn't get the last part of your comment

imhunt said...

nah they're just the rantings of a stuck pen.
Anyway have been reading your posts, they make an interesting read. Are you a print journalist? Hmm...I'm a publisher of sorts..well almost..very soon.

AB said...

Thanks. As in you are a publisher-to-be...Yeah I am a print journo

imhunt said...

To be or not to be that was never a question. A lot of journalists blog. Looks like they have a lot of time. look at me...anyway I'm designated as a "writer" not a journo. But I can't write my feature yet aaaargh. Start nahin mil raha. Feel nahin aa raha. All I feel like doing is hounding that "definitelymale" and "steppenwolf" and piss them off.

AB said...

imhunt: Time is what you make of it dude. But you are right, it's a community of journos in blogland.

And I think you have succeeded on the last count:)

definitelymale said...

hahahahah..imhunt trying to get ab into bed..best of luck dude..

imhunt said...

Yeh Dekhlo Gaaon Waalon Bajaj Pulsar Saab Aa gaye.
Abbe Bhains Ki Akkal IF the Girl is In delhi And I'm In Mumbai Which bed do I Get Her into....The one in Indore

Hey AB sorry bout the reference

AB said...

Hey definitelymale or whosoever psycho you are, don't bother to drop by. You are freaking sick.

Anonymous said...

This is nothing to do with your blog AB, but I have a serious issue with Mr RSS here. the problem is that you're right about a lot of people supporting the saffron brigade. and that's what is frightening and is a sad commentary on our society. you guys kill for religion. Which religion, or god has asked for that? And no, don't call it hinduism, because rabid killing does not define Hinduism.

steppenwolf said...

It is a different kind of Hinduism, and it is the one that will survive. We are changing the DNA of this ancient religion, reinventing it, for if we don't we will be swept into oblivion by the tide of history. Go read Howard Bloom and Savitri Devi.

Anonymous said...

You know that's the frightening part. That you're well read but still so deluded. Changing the DNA? By genocide. Right, I see that.

couchpotato said...

Loved A Suitable Boy when I was a teenager.

Your work seems real fun, btw. Wish I could do something similar to what you're doing!

I think the Anisha chick must have failed some ten thousand times. Most people who say they're good at studies aren't really good at it. That, of course, wouldn't prevent couch potatos from wanting to flirt with her, I guess! ;)

Anonymous said...

Geez people. How did a post about a dim-witted girl turn into a tirade about genetically altering India?? Go take your pissing contest elsewhere.

AB said...

couchpotato: Have you been hibernating? So your cousin read my comment. What happened next?

And Anisha chick would not have been so bad had she not been so humble;)

Anonymous said...

1. What was that reference 'you are punjabi'? I mean what smart analysis were you making with that comment of yours? As in were you trying to say 'oh you are so dumb, you must be punjabi" or "oh you are so fair, you must be punjabi". really, being a print journo as you claim, arent you supposed to be non-parochial in your approach?

2. Last time I checked, carrying a Vikram Seth did not make anyone intelligent enough to make fun of a young dimwitted school student. I mean going by your conversation with her, can't say you were bright either.

3. I am not Punjabi. so i am not defending my clan here. But just the general parochial prejudices that some 'intelligent' people seem to have.

AB said...

anon: I am not here to be politically correct. Also I am not here with any agenda - to prove anything. Whether intelligence or dimwittedness.

So you are free to think whatever you want.

And have I mentioned anywhere in my post that a Vikram Seth book is the acme of intellectuality? Please point out.

And thirdly, I do not claim to be a print journo. I am one.

definitelymale said...

very well said anonymous.

page 3 journalism is probably the only profession in the world which adds zero value to society. Carrying a Vikram Seth novel is just an attempt to disguise the shallowness within.

Anonymous said...

definitelymale - I do not need you to support me. Your rant is a bane attempt to draw attention to yourself. I prefer to respond with intelligent thought rather than mindless jabs. You are just as bad.

PS said...

Can't stop laughing at the incident. Considering all the time that I've spent in this city, its not difficult to visualise at all. Also, the presentation part, trust you to do this...lol ;)

PS said...

btw, having read all your comments I agree that imhunt is indeed freaking sick, don't even bother to reply to such people

cactusjump said...

i hope she has some life-altering experience in the next three years and ends up winning the nobel prize.

imhunt said...

Hello PS if you can indeed read well please do a double take and read the comment again.
"Hey definitelymale or whosoever psycho you are, don't bother to drop by. You are freaking sick."
Sorry about being vehment here but then unrequited slander is what we all can't take well.

AB said...

cactusjump: She's aleady famous. On my blog:)

Anonymous said...

Is there an Indian "Big Brother"?

Pareshaan said...

Riveting, both the post and the comments. Very well done Ms. Bandopadhyaya - is it?
What I cannot understand is the fascination with the unfortunate girl's being Punjabi. I know it was supposed to be funny, but really...
A very well written post,excellent blog as a whole.
The Punjabi thing seemed a bit mean spirited, but then if you are a Bengali, I understand.
By the way I AM a Punjabi.

Anonymous said...

Wonderful and informative web site. I used information from that site its great. » »

Pareshaan said...

And yes indeed - you are the same, after all these years - I remember this post - Ms. Bandopadhyay (is it?)
Incredible - I remember posting something whiny about Punjabis being bitchslapped all over the blogosphere after reading this. It pissed me off bigtime back then - now it's making me laugh.
It's still well written. You on the other hand seem a bit lovelorn, if I may. Best...