Three words ain't enough

This is what I have been upto of late. Covering concerts, checking out men dancing to Bollywood item numbers and being thought a pick up by some French bastards. The most taxing of all - catching up with a former crush and pretending nothing's on between us.

*Men dancing to item numbers for the ladies sounded tempting. I was
convinced it would be a night out ogling strippers. My fantasy never
came true. These were men dancing bare chested trying to imitate the
likes of Shahrukh, Salman and Hrithik. They were hopeless. Not only
because they didn't go the full way with the Full Monty act, but also
because they were pathetic dancers.

*I couldn't believe I was interviewing Engelbert Humperdinck (And
all the while I knew that he was dead). Anyways the interview happened to be a pleasure. The man had no hoity toityness about him. And his concert took me back me even more. I was not exactly dying with enthusiasm to attend it. But I was surprised to see that a 69-yr-old man could be so entertaining, that he could be so enjoyable. The old-world charm was infectious. And I was glad that I had gone after all.

*Now I know better than try to talk to weirdly dressed French guys. Even for a story. At a do I saw this guy in a flamboyant orange hat, nerdy glasses and natty suit. He looked quite like a strutting cockatoo as he went up and down about the whole place. You couldn't miss him. I couldn't. My next move was trying to talk to him since an extremely drunk PR woman kept saying he was some interior designer. What she didn't tell me was this: He was a nutcase.

When I first tried to get his attention, he swept past me royally. His friends turned to me. Now just a while back I had been casting admiring looks at one of them. He was quite a hottie. But the moment he brought his face inches close to mine and asked me: "What book are you reading? Is it a Bible?" I could have swatted his handsome face. Instead I had this saccharine sweet smile on my face: "Yeah I carry Bible to parties."

When I finally talked to Orange Hat, he had this eeky smile on his face. Putting his hands on my shoulder which next kept traversing the length of my spinal column for the duration of our talk, he said: "First lets have some dinner. Come, come." The moment I said I was from a newspaper everything changed magically. His response changed to: "Let me finish dinner." For the next few minutes, his friends (including the hottie) couldn't take their eyes off me and P (who was standing at some distance all the time). I guess they must have thought we were easy lays. Bastards.

*What is it about attraction that irks one so? I have been having some old turbulent feelings resurface after I met my former crush. He's come down from Princeton and is on his way to Calcutta even as I write. I might try to pretend that I want nothing from him, but the truth remains that I do. Depression's setting in real fast.


Essar said...

You know, I totally empathise about meeting an old crush and having his presence turn ur live topsy turvey. maybe there is something to that. but coming from someone who's never even had the guts the open the door when opportunity cam knocking by, that's crap.

motheater said...

ok. you get some strange comments. Re: crush, we'll discuss that in the privacy of 25D :-)

Jay said...

LOL I thought Engelbert Humperdinck was dead as well. You only ever hear about him on day-time TV when they're selling his 'Extremely Limited Edition 4 Disc Platinum Greatest Hits Collection'. If you say he's alive I guess I'll have to take your word for it.

By the way, I'm slowly coming to the realisation that you and motheater are actually flatmates.

Mint Chutney said...

A few years ago I saw Neil Diamond in concert (not by choice, long story) and I came to the realization that he, Engelbert Humperdinck, Wayne Newton and Tom Jones were actually 4 different men.

I feel for you and the whole crush-thing.

AB said...

shithappens: Welcome. But I didn't catch the last part of your comment

motheater: Now Jay realises that we inhabit the same place!

Jay: Ya now you know otherwise that the fellow is alive. But take my word for it, he is good.

mintchutney: LOL I have somebody who can give me tough competition;)

motheater said...

Let me clear up one thing. When AB says we inhabit the same place, she means on the physical plane. Mentally, we inhabit two different worlds :-) :-)

And I've always given my flatmates rave reviews in my blogs (Hint, hint)

eM said...

I want to know more about French guy! And remind me to tell you about my Polish Ambassador story :)

AB said...

motheater: Rave reviews???

eM: French guy was hot bastard. So go on, tell me about Polish guy. Waiting.

PS said...

thanks for commenting on my blog!!!! but life remains as twisted as ever :(

Saltwater Blues said...

hey AB .. I think I read ur review. Ur Bengali right?

AB said...

PS: Welcome bebo. And things will work out for the best, so don't you worry:)

saltwater: Which review? Ya I am

Saltwater Blues said...

I mean your report on the Humperdinck show ... I recognised the initials AB.

couchpotato said...


Think I saw the report, as well! Didn't know you were the one who had written it, though! ;).

AB said...

No my report hasn't come out yet. So I think you guys should watch out for it. Hint: Next Sat.

couchpotato said...

Can you give us more clues? Like the name of the paper? ;)

AB said...

Oh that would be giving myself away buddy. Anyways lets see... it's a leading daily in Cal.

sesame said...

Hi there, good to see your blog is going strong. Was wondering if you could consider listing your blog on Blogshares so that I could buy a few shares. I have high hopes for your blog:-)The url is http:www.blogshares.com

AB said...

Hey you have commented after a long time or is it visited? Thanks. I just had a look. It's for fun right?

sesame said...

I drop by more often than you update;-)Yes, blogshares is, as they say on the homepage, a fantasy stock market for weblogs. But, it feels good in having a stake in blogs that one is rooting for. I already own shares in Piece of Mind and Compulsive Confessor. Thought I'd pick up a stake in yours but found it unlisted, hence the request. if your readers had an biz sense, they'd also pick up a few shares in One Fine Day:-)

AB said...

sesame: Ok. Even motheater and eM have have listed with blogshares? None told me about this. I will do it but (ahem) am a bit technologically challenged, so will do it as soon as I figure it out:)