20.12.07

How high does the sycamore grow?/ If you cut it down, then you'll never know...

Life has been beautiful since the last few posts here. Ever since I returned from Calcutta. I learnt a lot too in those days. Like how you should learn to ignore strangers on the road and give them a wide wide berth, if you want some peace of mind. All I do is plug my iPod into my ears and go with the flow of music. Often I sing along. Yes, I am sure I look funny, but who really cares. The thing is we all learn to be happy.

But life is ironic. Things happen which you never thought could happen to you. Some time back I was out with a guy and I happened to meet his best friend, a photographer from Bombay, at a nightclub here. We danced together. That was the first time we had met and I had liked him a lot. It seemed the feeling was reciprocated. He had asked me if I would go out with him again when he returned to Delhi. There were some complications. I was not his friend’s girl or anything but he seemed to have got the impression.

After a long time, 8 months to be precise, photographer guy called. And suddenly at the end of the conversation he wanted me to be his girl. I was completely taken aback. I was floundering like crazy. I did like him but I certainly didn’t see THAT coming. Since then we chatted a few times. But one day I got very freaked out because he was thinking in terms of us setting up house together! He talked of converting for me (he belongs to another religion). On top of that he pronounced some words a bit funnily. And he has studied in a not-so-great college. Do I sound very superficial? It’s just that I do not want to be ashamed of the guy I am with.

One night I told him that we shouldn’t even talk because it would go nowhere and that he was rushing things. He wouldn’t hang up without a proper reason and really I couldn’t think of any except the religion card (which I admit was very cheap of me and wouldn’t really matter much to me). Finally he said he wouldn’t ever call me up.

A day passed. The next day he called. This time he said that he had to meet a girl from his own religion. “My mother and sisters are trying to set me up with her. And you cannot imagine how beautiful she is. You will lose your senses! She is so much more beautiful than you” -- was what he had to say. My reply: “Good for you! Go for her then!” I was hurt. I have never claimed that I am a beauty queen. So I thought that was pretty nasty and unwarranted. He ended the conversation with the fact that he had made up his mind about the girl he wants to be with. Then three days of silence and he called yesterday with a story about how that girl turned out to be pregnant. And how he was pretty astonished about me not calling him once.

Let me confess. I was a bit cranky about the absence of calls or text messages from him.

Right now, I am so confused. I really do not know what to do. I don’t even know much about him. He was supposed to come down to spend New Year’s Eve with me. But I told him not to. WHAT do I do?

19 comments:

rovinroustabout said...

You have one choice; you can listen to Cat Stevens

And I don't know if I'm being foolish
Don't know if I'm being wise
But it's something that I must believe in
And it's there when I look in your eyes

Look boss the guy likes you, nd he must be consulting some of his friends who must be a disciple of somebody akin to David Deangelo, on the whole implying that he tried the jealousy trick by telling about the other girl, because it was no point telling you how beautiful she is and other crap, nd then again that pregnancy thing.
Dnt think about college nd all dat crap, if u like him, he is presentable enough and if he can succeed in bread butter rat race, then there is no harm taking a chance on him while listening to abba………at least new year eve to banta hai balika
Nyways liked acting agony aunt…chill sweetheart

SS said...

I think we can be happy with someone who accepts us as how we are.

Initially we may feel that changing for a person wouldn’t be a big deal, but as the time passes we feel frustrated..

I am sorry if I took too much liberty advising you, but after reading this post, I couldn’t resist telling you this.

AB said...

rovinroustabout: Hmmm...point truly. But that is the thing...that jealousy trick makes me feel very funny. Like this is not a film where you have to make the heroine jealous and all. If you know what I mean. I detest underhand tricks. Ok, let me see if the new year's thing works out then:)

AB said...

ss: Oh no, I asked for advise. So don't be sorry...You are so right...Been thinking somewhere along the same lines...

SS said...

Good Luck....

rovinroustabout said...

films are inspired by real life and if dey are not they fall at the box office unless it has SRK or Sex, said by pretty Zinta
In fact we all feel jealous, nd the other thing that is pissing you off is the fact that he is trying a bit too hard, by saying all that conversion crap, somebody should advice him to be a bit slow and retain his attraction, after all any gal will do anything for a guy till the point she finds him attractive, ask him to be a bit slow, dnt feel insecure nd know more about you nd tell more about himself before rushing to tie the knot…trust me it works, its our basic instinct, reminded me of Sharon stone….now dnt feel jealous……..lol

First Rain said...

Nice to see a post after ... a long time.

My two-bit advice: Don't go with someone on the premise that they will change to suit your tastes/needs. It may/may not happen. And if you like someone as a person, its ok to give him a chance.

Hmmm... well ... thats about it.

AB said...

ss: I keep wishing myself the same. Hope your wish works...

rovinroustabout: Why do I have to tell him? Anyway, I don't think I should complicate matters. Let's see what happens. I hate it when such things happen where you can't do much except sit and see. And I really don't feel insecure. Every individual is his or her own person. If someone cannot appreciate that, it is indeed sad.

First Rain: Hey how are you? So many things have been happening? Just didn't find the time. A chance would probably change everything thing no?

rovinroustabout said...

stubborn…….lol, the insecurity part was for him, its d guy who is feeling insecure and that’s why he is trying a bit too hard. You are not insecure and hence you are not trying that hard. And the individual part applies to you I can also say that every individual is his or her own person. If someone cannot appreciate that, it is indeed sad.
So why don’t you appreciate him instead of being judgmental about his qualification etc.
Nd well you don’t have to tell him nything, on thing I can sense is he is already having some inferiority complex may be religion or your judgments it can be nything. You just have to make him feel that you are comfortable with the way he is………
Hey I am sorry if I am crossing my limits…

AB said...

rovinroustabout: No you are not crossing your limits:) You are helping me think aloud. So thanks.

I know I am being very judgmental abt the qualification and pronunciation part. Now I wonder if he is fooling me with stories about the girl...That is a horrible feeling. I have seen people weaving their own stories and it is scary. I try being friendly and all, but that's when he becomes more mushy and I take ten steps back. Why do things like this happen in one's life? When you are unsure of everything!

rovinroustabout said...

I am feeling guilty now, in no way I wanted to demoralize you or anything, but look boss you have to be clear in yr mind, what kind of person you are dating and why
If you have problems with the pronunciation and education part it means that you will never be comfortable with a person who doesn’t satisfy your criteria because these things are never going to change and who will always be countering yourself thinking if he is the one or not, I don’t think having criteria is bad, all of us have some bias, and hence we should be careful in taking these decisions, heart has his own way but some brain is also important.

I gave you all those advices because I assumed that u guys are going around for more than a year or so.
Nd boss that other girl part is a guess, it can be wrong so don’t make an opinion on the basis of a guess by a complete stranger. Its your life take your decisions and even if one is wrong its not a big deal.. life after all is a long race
and life is the name of uncertainity.......remember warner hisenberg, he got a nobel for his uncertainity principle...lol
Chill sweetie

Anonymous said...

do the right thing and you'll be ok.

... always here for you.

Candid Confessions said...

Honestly, first place, I am surprised that you have actually poured out on your personal happenings on a public blog. Requires quite a nerve! Admire that!

Back to the heart of the matter, looks like you are pining for attention and at the same time playing hard to get! It doesn't look like both of you have good reasons to be together! You think you might be ashamed with him and he at one point said he found someone else prettier. So is that all that matters!

AB said...

Candidconfessions: Thinking out loud here worked for me.

Well, the attention was not sought in the way it came skidding in. It was freaking out because I did like the person initially. Does talking to someone and holding out on a relationship because one is not sure necessarily imply that one is playing hard to get?!!! Alas! Didn't think of that!:)

rovinroustabout said...

Hey… I was just snooping about the actions, so u guys are going out on New Year

sinusoidally said...

He broke up with you even before you were "boyfriend-girlfriend" + he was set up with a girl who he thought was the 'one for her' without meeting her + she turns out to be pregnant + now he is calling you = RED FLAGS!! He sounds like a freak and I would just stay away! Sorry.

AB said...

Rovin: Hey, no way!

Sinusoidally: Thanks honey. I just did that. Stayed away...

rovinroustabout said...

hey your boyfriend must be cursing me………nyways good dat u took a decision

rovinroustabout said...

Do u still exist, I got an email about some quote on your blog. I clicked on the link and it took me to david d angelo’s website. Well that’s not the point. I don’t blog anymore. And I was surprised to read my own comments. I can’t believe that I wrote it. I still can’t remember. It’s like stressing the brain to remember what happened in the binge session. Something like a bad hangover. But sweet!!!! Isn’t it? Well this again is not the point. After reading my own amateurish comments and your replies I was compelled to read your post again. Well now coming to the point. Has that problem resolved???? I am curious. It’s perhaps more than three years. I somehow feel that our nature doesn’t change and some of us love to complicate our lives, me including. As we grow up and become more mature we chose more complicated problems for us….. ha ha ha. Hey do reply. please.